Riding Lessons
by ashlyns
Summary: Oneshot. A funny look at what happens when Legolas tries to teach Gimli how to ride a horse on his own...with drastic consequences. Humerous, cute, please R and R!


**Hey everyone! Here I am with another (hopefully) funny one-shot. I hope you all like it and don't forget to read and review! Please. This is Movie-Verse so if it contradicts the books in anyway,I am sorry, truly. **

**Riding Lessons**

Gimli grumbled and rolled over in his sleep, whispering something. Legolas was annoyed but didn't let it show. After the display Gimli had shown during the recent Warg battle, Legolas really had no patience for him. By the Valar, the Dwarf had ended up under two Wargs and a Goblin!

All was calm, for now. They were waiting to move the remaining men out of Edoras to begin building an army that will march to Minas Tirith's aid. For now, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn and Merry were stuck together, in a long rectangular room. Their only beds were soft feather, over large 'pillows' on the floor but that wasn't what was bothering Legolas at the moment. It was the snoring!

No Elf snored. He could remember when Aragorn had first come to Mirkwood and Legolas had met him for the first time, the man had been but a boy, hardly out of his 'elfling' years. He'd snored so loudly that every Elf in his father's halls had been awake all night and every one of them had been out for blood the next morning. After that, they had managed to teach Aragorn techniques for a silent sleep but the Hobbit and the Dwarf were enough to outmatch Aragorn, hands down.

Not to mention the fact that Legolas' sharp ears could pick up the position of every sleeping male in the building…and perhaps some of the women as well.

Sitting up, he grabbed his brown and green tunic from a small, knee high table next to him and pulled it over his silver shirt. Clipping it shut, he grabbed his cloak, donned it and left the room silently…which wasn't hard as the room was so loud.

Once outside in the cool night air, Legolas breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed his ears unconsciously. There was a slight ringing in them.

Out in the field beyond the high gates, Legolas could see a herd of horses bolting across the plains, whinnying, leaping and playing in the cool night air. His own, Arod, was amongst, them, his shimmering white coat catching the light of the moon and turning it silver.

"Oh, Arod." Legolas whispered. The horse stopped as though his silent call had been heard. Watching curiously, he saw the horse turn from the herd and bolt towards Edoras at all speed. His heart leaping, Legolas leapt down the stairs, landing catlike on the ground far below and raced through the town to the gates. "Open the gates!" Legolas commanded the keeps. The task was done just in time for Arod to bolt through and shutter to a halt beside his master. "You silly creature, what is wrong?"

The horse nuzzled into his shoulder, nickering softly. Legolas laughed and ran a white hand down his pale horse's neck. As he moved his palm over the smooth hair of Arod's back, he suddenly had a brilliant idea.

It was not yet sunrise when Legolas entered the sleeping chamber again but Aragorn was already stirring. Legolas said nothing to him but approached the Dwarf who was not to happy about being woken so early.

"You blasted Elf," He muttered sleepily, opening his eyes after Legolas had shook him roughly for five minutes. "I'm awake already." Legolas face swam in his vision, beautiful as always and smiling manically.

"Then waken already, and get up! It is passed morning three hours ago!" Gimli moaned into his pillow. It was only three in the morning, in other words. When Gimli didn't say anything, Legolas' strong hand was again on his shoulder and the shaking again. Gimli tried to swat him away, earning a melodic laugh that erritated the Dwarf even more. "Come, Gimli! Up and away with you, we are going to the stables!"

This sparked the Dwarf's attention. Opening his eyes, he blinked away sleep and glared at the happy, well groomed being who crouched over him, glowing as though he held the power of the sun under his skin.

"Why would I want to go to the ruddy stables, I'll ask you, Elf? I have no wish to see horses or any other terrible beast your mind can concoct. Leave me be." He swatted at Legolas again, who maneuvered away from his flying hand easily.

"Why, Gimli. This will be an adventure, I assure you." Gimli snorted. "I am going to give you riding lessons." Gimli shot up so fast that Legolas leapt back in surprise, just managing to miss Merry who was stirring. The Hobbit yelped and rolled off his bed and onto Aragorn who had been just about to rise. Legolas laughed again, and they all realized nothing could dampen his spirit today. "It will be fun."

"Fun?" Gimli snorted, rolling his eyes. He'd had a lot to drink the night before, as had the Elf but only one of them had a hang-over. Merry picked himself up off Aragorn and muttered an apology before going back to his own bedroll and crawling back under the warm blanket. He hadn't been himself since Pippin had been taken away with Gandalf. "If it is so fun, why not teach the Hobbit?"

Merry sat up, wide eyed and stared at Legolas who laughed again. "No," Merry looked relieved until Legolas continued, "I will teach him later, when I have time. It is you who needs the lessons more, anyhow."

"Why?" Gimli grumbled. Legolas' smile died and he looked sullen for a moment.

"Because, I will not always be there to ride for you. If something happened to me I would need someone to protect Arod. You must learn how to ride, Gimli. You barely stay on and fall off when the horse enters more then a trot."

Gimli bristled. "That is hardly true, Elf!" He snapped. "I rode into the Warg battle."

"Barely! Gimli, a hunk of cheese rides better then you." Legolas answered. Gimli grumbled and rolled over in his blanket, shaking his head and hoping the Elf would get his anser, 'no'. Legolas sighed and his slow, steady, silent steps were barely audible on the cold stone floor. It was obvious that he was deliberately stepping heavily so Gimli would hear. "Well, I guess, if you are scared then…"

Aragorn grinned at Merry who was watching, wide-eyed. If Legolas was really determined to do something and have someone follow along, he would stoop to considerably low measures to do it. Aragorn had the scars to prove it and the memories of Legolas' taunts and insults.

"Scared, am I?" Gimli roared, leaping to his feet, all tiredness forgotten in an instant. "Lead me to that beast of yours, Legolas! I will ride him all over the country side to prove you wrong."

Legolas laughed and grabbed Gimli's arm before racing from the room, the Dwarf barely keeping up. Aragorn sighed and got to his feet, pulling on his cloak. He wouldn't miss this for anything.

"Coming, Merry?" He asked. Merry shrugged and got to his feet as well, pulling on his own cloak. Aragorn clapped him on his small shoulder. "Don't worry, with those two, this should be quite entertaining."

It was full sun-rise before Legolas led Arod from the barn and through Edoras to the large doors through which the horse had run though just that night. He would train Gimli out here, in the open field where there was little risk of anyone being fallen on.

The Dwarf himself stumped loudly after them, his face set in a grim, grumpy line as he watched the swaying of the animal's back and glared at the blond haired Elf that led it. Every once and a while, the people from Edoras who followed curiously behind, heard the Dwarf saw something about 'damn Elf' and 'beast of burden'.

Aragorn sat down in the heavy grass beside Eowyn and Merry, their backs against the wooden wall, Edoras' defense. A small group of civilians who needed entertainment in these dark times, spread out around the wall and soon there was a nice little audience.

Legolas leapt lightly onto Arod's back, adjusting to the saddle and then reached down, pulling Gimli up in front of him. The saddle proved to be way to small and soon Legolas was sitting behind it, nearly sliding off Arod's read end.

He placed the reins in Gimli's hand, showing him the proper way to hold them and correcting him when he did it wrong. He announced loudly that the Dwarf's posture was all wrong and that he needed to sit up straight and proud. Gimli grumbled loudly, making a few of the younger women laugh nearby.

"Aragorn!" Legolas called, smiling. Aragorn pulled himself up and walked over briskly to the horse's side. Arod stamped impatiently and looked around at him as he approached with a pleading look in his deep brown eyes. "Can you adjust Gimli's stirrups?"

When he was done and the cold metal bars were in place beneath Gimli's broad feet, Aragorn positioned them properly and then went back to his seat by the wall to tumultuous applause.

"Thank you, Aragorn." Gimli grumbled. Aragorn nodded to him, ignoring the fact that Gimli had been very sarcastic. Legolas instructed Gimli to lower his heels as far as he could, pointing his toes up in the air because it created balance. Twice Gimli's feet came out of the stirrups and Legolas had to contort himself to adjust them.

"Okay, Gimli." Legolas said in a business like tone. "Squeeze gently with your heels and Arod will begin to move." Leaning around Gimli, Legolas whispered, "N'ndengina ho." (Don't kill him) to Arod. Gimli bristled and turned his head to glare at his friend.

"What did you tell him?" Gimli snapped. Legolas smiled slyly.

"Nothing to worry about, my friend." He assured but Gimli looked none to convinced.

"You told him to buck me off, didn't you?" He growled. Legolas rolled his eyes and straightened up, holding tightly onto Gimli's vast sides.

"When you are ready, master Dwarf." Legolas said. Gimli didn't move. He just sat there, his hands holding onto Arod's reins, his legs poised in the proper positions. Though he'd slouched forward a little, a quick prod in the small of the back from Legolas' index finger made him straighten. "Come on, Gimli. I am here with you. I will not let go, I promise."

Gimli made a weird sound and the same gaggle of young women nearby giggled loudly. Gimli turned back to them, dropping the reins in his left hand and shook a fist at them. He most have also squeezed his legs because, as he yelled at them, Arod sprang forward into a fast trot. The sudden movement unseated Gimli who fell off and hit the ground with a loud thud.

Legolas, who had just managed to hold on with the tips of his fingers digging into the saddle's high leather seat, turned and smiled. He slid lightly off Arod's back and raced over to his fallen friend who was grumbling and struggling to get up.

Legolas held up a hand to Aragorn, who was about to rise and shook his head. "It is alright, he is uninjured." He smiled and the crowd of startled and worried faces, ignoring the young girls who batted their eyelashes at him. "Aren't you, Gimli?"

"I will not be put through this anymore." Gimli announced, pulling himself up and batting away Legolas' hand. "No more will this humiliation fall on me."

"Gimli, you fell on the ground, the humiliation is simply temporary." Legolas answered. Gimli put a small hand on the middle of Legolas' chest and pushed him away roughly, trying to get to Edoras. Legolas merely staggered and rushed after his friend. Managing to get in front of him, Legolas fell to his knees in front of the Dwarf and grabbed his hunched shoulders.

"Gimi." He said smoothly, "It is time you get back on that horse." Gimli tried to go around him but Legolas wouldn't let go and Gimli refused to hit him. "Come, friend. You were doing so well."

Gimli smiled despite himself. "I did have good posture, didn't I?" Legolas nodded his face set into a determinedly straight face. Lines creased his forehead and his lips trembled with a suppressed smile which Gimli took as a sign that Legolas was about to cry.

"Don't get worked up, Laddie." Gimli grumbled. "Fine, I will get back on that beast of yours." Legolas released his smile.

"Good Gimli, come on. I will help you back on." They repeated the process, this time Legolas pulling himself up after Gimi. When they were settled and Gimli again held the riens, Legolas waited for the Dwarf to push Arod forward. Gently, the Dwarf tapped Arod's side and the horse began walking slowly across the yellowing grass of the field.

Legolas felt Gimli chuckling, his back moving sporadically against Legolas' chest. Legolas smiled, pride for his friend swelling inside him. "Okay, Gimli." He said after a few minutes of light riding. "Take him up to a trot."

Gimli did so, if only a little hesitantly. They rode faster now, Legolas lightly bouncing on Arod's back end while Gimli thumped higher and higher with each step.

"Gimli, lower your heels and pull your center of gravity down onto Arod. It will keep you centered and…" But too late, Gimli tried and he was told but immediately bounced off Arod's back, nearly pulling Legolas with him. "Whoa, Arod." Arod slowed and stopped.

The crowd near the gates had now swelled and the many people gasped at the Dwarf's latest tumble. Legolas waved to them that all was well and pulled Gimli to his feet. While Legolas dusted his friend off, Gimli grumbled more heavily.

"Well, Gimli. The Lady Galadriel can ride horses." After that comment, Gimli no longer complained and allowed Legolas to roughly pull him back onto Arod with out a single wisp of protest.

"What in the blazes do you want me to do now, Elf?" Gimli asked as they again pulled into a walk.

"Trot more, until you pick it up." Legolas announced happily. Gimli mumbled something unintelligible and poked Arod in the side with his heels. The horse immediately rose up into a trot. Reaching around his friend, Legolas set his pale hands on the Dwarf's rougher ones and held his friend's hands still; they kept bouncing.

"Center my balance." Gimli muttered. After eight attempts and fallings, Gimli finally mastered trotting. Legolas joined in with the crowd as Gimli proudly displayed his new talent, Legolas holding onto the horse with his thighs.

"Okay, Gimli." Legolas said into the Dwarf's ear, taking hold of his sides again. "We are going to canter now. It is smoother then trotting, as you know, but you must hold your center of balance because the speed at which the horse moves is slightly panicky." Gimli nodded and said something only Legolas would have been able to pick up. "Yes, you have cantered with me but you were bouncing along behind. Just center yourself."

Gimli was about to move into a canter when Legolas poked him hard in the back to straighten his back. Thrown off balance, Gimli slid sideways, holding dearly onto the saddle horn as his feet trailed along. Arod was picking up speed, his reins flapping in the breeze. Legolas reached down and pulled the Dwarf back into the saddle.

"Gimli, get your hands on the reins." Legolas hissed in his ear as the world flew past them at alarming speed. Gimli looped his hands through the reins the way Legolas had shown him, shortening them as they needed it while Legolas placed Gimli's feet in the wildly bouncing stirrups.

"Okay, Gimli! Hold on." They were racing now, the ground flashing past at alarming speed. What really worried Gimli was not the fact that he was maneuvering the horse by himself, nor Legolas' maniacal laughter in his ears. It was the fact that he was enjoying the feeling of the wind in his face, the strong beast below him at his control and the lack of blond hair whipping him in the face. He could almost imagine the strange sight their spectators were greeted to. An Elf, holding onto the sides of a Dwarf who sat at the controls of a pure white horse, flying at top speed towards the nearby forest.

"Turn him, Gimli, or we shall end up in the trees." Legolas called. Gimli gently shifted his weight as much as he dared and lightly pulled the reins to the right, turning Arod the aforementioned way. Knowing Legolas' Elvish cries behind him were more responsible then his own ability for the horse's turn, Gimli leaned back against his friend and enjoyed the feeling of freedom he was experiencing.

"I'm doing it, Legolas!" Gimli cried. Legolas laughed melodically and Gimli felt him shift slightly. Wondering what was wrong, it was a moment before Gimli realized his friend was gone, no longer behind him. Turning, Gimli saw he was alone on Arod's back, the Elf laying in the grass far behind.

Panicking, Gimli pulled Arod around which took a considerable amount of time and managed to get the beast down into a trot and then a walk. Jumping down (Or rather falling off) Arod, Gimli stumped over to Legolas who was laying very still in the deep yellow grass, a large rock laying next to his head. Gimli bent down and touched his friend's face. Legolas didn't move and Gimli surmised he had been knocked out.

"Legolas!" Gimli cried, shaking the Elf. Legolas didn't make a sound, he was as still as death. "Legolas, open your eyes you blasted Elf!" Still, Legolas said nothing. "Oh no!" Gimli looked up at Edoras. There was a small rise blocking them, no one from their viewing party could see what they were doing. "I'm going to get help!"

Gimli began stumping up the hill but realized he was too far away from Edoras. He wouldn't make it in very good time and for all he knew, Legolas was dying. Turning back to Arod, he was met by soulful, calm brown eyes. The horse was panting slightly from his exertion but seemed well enough for the task.

Taking the bridle, he led the horse over to a fallen log and got unsteadily onto it before launching himself onto Arod's back. Draped over the horse, he struggled for a moment into a sitting position and took the reins. Reaching down, he hooked his feet in the stirrups and took the proper position.

Riding slowly over to Legolas' prone form, Gimli looked sadly down at his friend and the cursed rock beside him. "I will get Aragorn, Legolas. Hold on." Clicking, he forced the horse into a trot and then a canter, racing back up the field towards Edoras and Aragorn.

"Where is Legolas?" Aragorn asked, jumping merrily to his feet as the Dwarf sped towards them. Pulling Arod to a halt, Gimli quickly explained what had happened. Aragorn looked worried but there was something in his eyes that suggested more then fear, it was humor. Not understanding, Gimli waited until Aragorn was on behind him before letting Gimli ride them back to where Legolas lay.

The Elf was still lying where Gimli had left him before. Aragorn slid off and motioned Gimli to stay on Arod. The human bent down beside their friend and tapped Legolas gently on the cheek. Instantly, the Elf opened his eyes and smiled. Slowly, his smile turned into a laugh so strong his whole body was shaking.

"What is this all about, then? He is unhurt?" Gimli asked, shocked. Legolas sat up, his blond held tilted back as he laughed musically. It was an unearthly sound; one Gimli had never heard properly before…an Elf laughing in complete and undisturbed mirth. "What is so funny?"

Aragorn was now smiling too, sitting beside Legolas with a hand on his shoulder. As Legolas laughed, Aragorn chuckled and turned to Gimli. "We are sorry, Gimli…I mean, Legolas is sorry. It is an ancient Elvin trick. They take their young ones out and teach them how to ride. Then, the teacher falls off and the young one has to ride back for help by themselves. Elves rarely fall off their horses."

Legolas seemed to finally compose himself. "Aragorn and myself have both endured it."

"It's a form of shock learning." Gimli was not at all impressed.

"Here's a bit of shock learning." He mumbled, turning Arod. Before Legolas or Aragorn could stop him, he spurred the horse away down the field as fast as he dared. When he arrived at Edoras, the large group of spectators were waiting. Eowyn helped him down off Arod, worried.

"Is Legolas alright? Where is Lord Aragorn?" Gimli smiled up at her, still holding Arod's reins.

"They will be alright. They decided to walk home. Expect them around night fall." And with that, Gimli led Arod back into Edoras and towards the barns. The poor horse deserved a long brush and some water after all of that. It was, after all, probably just as traumatic for the horse to have a Dwarf ride away on its master, an Elf.

**The End**

**I hope you all liked it, I enjoyed writing it. I'm an expert horseback rider and I came up with this idea while trying to teach my 9 year old niece how to ride. I would put her in front of me and let her steer my horse. It was so frustrating but I wondered what it would be like if Gimli was taking lessons from Legolas so this was born. Thank you all for reading!**


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